Mortal Malls!
by Paramore7
Summary: HOW HAVEN'T THEY CONFISCATED THAT YET?" When Clary and Izzy drag Alec and Jace to the mall hilarity issues. Especially when Magnus shows up! Now co-writing with Fly Away Dreams! Yay!
1. Victoria's Secret

**Author's Note: I don't own Mortal Instruments but if I did:**

**1) Sebastian (or what-ever-the-heck-his-name-is) wouldn't have killed Max**

**2) There would be WAY more Alec/Magnus, Malec fi you will**

**3) Simon would be with Izzy**

**4) There would be way more Luke/Jocelyn, or some combination of Jocelyn and Luke if you will :p**

**Yeah, I could go on forever, but I'll stop there. Anyway, last I check I am not the awesomefull Cassandra Clare and therefore, do no have gazillions of dollars. I also do not have the awesome privilege of getting to say I own Jace, Magnus, and Alec and have it be true. I also-wait where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so by now you should know that I am not Cassandra Clare and if you haven't well, go eat some pie. (Yeah, I told you to go eat some pie! What are you gonna do about it? Oh…y-you're going to bring Valentine back from the d-dead and tell him I have the Mortal Instruments. I see. AHHHHH! *Runs screaming off into the distance*)**

Alec's POV

I was having a bad day. Correction: I was having the worst day of my life. Clary felt the need to drag me off shopping with her and Isabelle. Yes, shopping. And you'll never guess who came with us. Jace. Yeah, Izzy got _Jace_ to go shopping. Don't ask me how, 'cause I really don't know.

Walking down the aisle of Victoria's Secret, otherwise known as the pinkest store in the universe, I shot a mournful look at Jace who looked just as horrified as I felt. "You think we can out run them?" Jace asked.

"I can hear you!" Isabelle yelled looking at a vile of sparkles. Ew.

I nodded to Jace. We high-tailed it for the doors, he in front of he and I right behind. Unfortunately, Izzy had brought her whip along and Jace's leg shot out from under him. Before I could react I tripped over him and went sprawling across the floor on my stomach cursing all the while.

"HOW THE FUCK HAVE THEY NOT CONFISCATED THAT YET?" Jace yelled. He groaned as he got up. He looked at me and grinned. "Alec, I didn't know-" and he couldn't even finish before he burst out laughing. As Jace fell to the floor I looked down at myself. I covered in sparkles and lying over my shoulder was a pink shirt that read, 'Playboy Model.' Seriously, would I _ever_ catch a break?

"I think it's cute," a voice came from behind me. By the Angel, please don't be… But it had to be didn't it? Magnus walked over and held out a hand to help me up. I blushed, embarrassed he saw me so…sparkly. Of course it was Magnus; he probably liked it.

"Oh…uh…Magnus. What are you doing here?" I sputtered. Will the torment ever end? I always get so tongue-tied around him and we've been together for almost a year.

My sparkly warlock grinned. "Oh, I was just picking up these." He pointed to a pair of sparkly rainbow converse. "I was going to just zap them to my place, but then Isabelle mentioned something about dragging you here, so of course I had to come."

Blushing, I looked at the ground and muttered, "I uh, haven't seen you in a while. I missed you a lot." Magnus smiled and put a long arm around my shoulder, which only made me blush more.

Magnus led me over to a table with tons of glitter and make-up. He raised an eyebrow at me mischievously. "What do you think Izzy? Pink glitter or purple glitter?" he asked my sister, his eyes not leaving my face.

I grimaced. "Can't I have a say? It _is_ my face we're talking about here!"

Isabelle walked over and looked at me. "I don't know; Clary? What do you think?"

"Can I say neither?"

The redhead circled me for a moment before stopping behind me. "Both."

I swallowed. "A-are you sure? Can't we just say neither? Jace, help me out here."

Jace, who was backing toward the doors, froze. "Not on your life, pal."

I looked at my boyfriend and the girls. "It might be."

**Author's Note: So I hoped you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it. I might ones with other stores later. Let me know if you have any ideas.**

**Peace, Love, Iggy.**

**Kierstin**


	2. Scheel's

Author's Note: It's me again. Due to the extremely obnoxious number of emails I got from Fanfiction about reviews and favorites of this story, I decided to make another chapter today! (Actually, I love that you guys are so into this story, but seriously how do you turn that off?) In this chapter they'll be in Scheels. If you don't like the store choice blame Bailey (AimlessGirl). OK, I guess as the author I had some say in where they went, but I told Bailey I'd send people her way! So go see her MI story. It's kind of sad (she gave me a preview 'cause I rock). Now what was I going to say? Oh yeah. ALL HAIL BALOGNA: THE MEAT OF GAMBLERS! (I don't own MI only in my dreams…)

Alec's POV

After the sparkle fiasco, (and by 'sparkle fiasco' I mean running as fast as I possibly could for the door, but being caught by Izzy and glitterfied), I was about ready to kill my sister. OK, so maybe not _kill,_ but I wasn't happy. I looked sideways at Magnus as we stood in the check out line. He was grinning from ear to ear. "I think Clary was right. You just can't go wrong with purple and pink glitter." He said. I swung at him, but missed. He wangled a finger at me. "You don't want to get thrown out do you?"

I glared at him. Wait…that wasn't such a bad idea. If we got thrown out I could go home. And get this crap off me. I nudged Jace. "Hey," I whispered so only he would hear me. "If we get thrown out of here we're home free." Jace smiled his wicked grin. The grin that used to make me melt, but not any more. Now, it scared the living daylights out of me. "What are you planning?"

Jace shook his head and turned to Izzy. "Hey, Iz, can we go to Scheel's? I hear they got a new shipment of…stuff." Stuff? Jace is such an idiot.

Izzy believed him though. "Let's go there!" She grabbed my arm and Jace's and ushered us out the door followed by Magnus and Clary.

From outside the store I could hear a cashier yell, "SECURTIY! THIEVES!" Ignoring her, we struggled our way through the crowd and made our way to Scheel's.

For all of you who've never been there its pretty sweet, I guess. There are all kinds of sports equipment like bats, helmets, and golf clubs. Nothing of use against a demon, but they looked cool. Sort of. I almost ran into the giant elevator in the middle of the store, but Magnus pulled me back. We went up the steps next to elevator and I looked around. To our left was a small sitting area with issues of _Home and Garden_ sitting on a large coffee table that was surrounded by half a dozen chairs. On our right was a miniature log cabin with a sign that read,

**FREE FUDGE SAMPLES! (ONE PIECE ONLY!)**

So where did the girls want to go? The magazines. The chose the freaking magazines over free food. Psychos. Thank the Angel Jace was there. "Hey, we're going to get some fudge. Be right back." He said and we ran off.

When we got in there Jace said, "Ok eat as many free samples as you can so we get kicked out."

I raised an eyebrow. "And when that doesn't work?"

"I have a plan."

I sighed. "The last time I listened to you we ended up in a refrigerator full of pizza dough on our way to Texas."

Jace scoffed. "You say that like it's a bad thing!"

1,457 free samples of fudge later, I was ready to upchuck and we still hadn't gotten thrown out. "Jace! This isn't working! Why haven't they thrown us out yet?"

"I don't know! But I got the cashier's phone number." Jace moaned.

I glared at him. "Dude, you're dating Clary!" The cashier walked up to Jace and slapped him. In a huff, she walked out off the mini log cabin. "OW!" Jace yelled and but his hand to his face.

I shook my head and ignored him. "Come on. Let's get back to the girls." Jace and I shuffled back to the sitting area, where the girls and Magnus were sitting there comfortably talking to one another.

Magnus looked up at me lovingly. "You look a little sick. Should I take you home?"

I was about to say but Isabelle interrupted me. "No way! He's not getting out of this."

I raised my hands in anger. "What did I do?"

"YOU BROKE MY FAVORITE MIRROR!" She screeched.

"I did not! Simon broke it! When you two were…I'm not going to say it." I blushed.

Izzy's face dropped. "Oh yeah! Ok, let's go to " And she skipped off.

Author's Note: Woo-hoo! Chapter Two is done! I guess I have nothing to say except to tell you to give me more stores. I only have one more!

**Peace, Love, Iggy.**

**Kierstin**


	3. The Food Court

Author's Note: Hola Amigos! I'm Dora! Oh…wait…I lied. I'm not some giant-headed freak who talks to monkeys and wears the same clothes everyday. Or am I? *Duh-duh-duh music* ;) I love randomness! Sorry for not updating for forever, but I just joined 2 basketball leagues and am trying to get my softball team back together. (Go Crush!) Anyway, you know the drill:

**I don't own Mortal Instruments.**

**Here's Chapter 3: The Food Court**

**I would like to apologize to all of my reviewers (Is that even a word?) whom I didn't reply to. Your opinion means a lot to me, but I'm so busy I just couldn't get back to you all. I promise I'll do better! **

Jace's POV

"Now what," Izzy asked ten stores later.

"To the food court," I yelled. "For something other than Chinese take-out!"

Alec looked at me in horror. "You mean Izzy's soup, right?"

I shook my head. "Dude, we never eat that. We just get Chinese." Alec was shaking his head furiously and pointing to Izzy. "I-I mean...heh." I finished lamely.

Izzy was livid. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEVER EAT MY SOUP?"

Alec rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, you see, we used to throw it in that plant in the kitchen."

"You mean the one that died?" Clary asked.

Alec swallowed. "Y-yeah. So now I feed mine to Church except for that one time I gave it to Magnus."

Magnus glared at his boyfriend. "You said you made it! I suffered through that for nothing?"

"Aw…that's so sweet. I CAN'T BELIVE YOU DIDN'T EAT MY SOUP!" Izzy screamed.

Magnus scoffed. "I can. It was horrendous."

Izzy looked like she wanted to strangle him. "Watch it Bane."

I sat by Magnus while Alec went to get his food. "Are they done yet?"

"I don't think so. I just talked to Jocelyn and she said it'll be about another two hours."

I sighed. "Come on, let's ditch and go help get ready. Why am I always the diversion anyway?"

Magnus's face lit up. Literally. Seriously? Where the fuck did he get all that glitter from? "I can't leave my adorable little shadowhunter alone on his birthday with you."

"YOU'RE CHEATING ON ALEC!" I yelled in mock-surprise.

There was a clatter to my left. I turned to see Alec staring at us with a mixed look of shock and horror on his face. His lunch tray was overturned on the ground by his feet. After blinking a few times, Alec spun on his heel and ran off.

Magnus froze. He sat like that for a few moments and then asked, "Dear Angel, what am I going to do?"

" I know!" I jumped up with my arm waving back and screamed, "Pick me! Ooh ooh! Pick me!"

Magnus gave me 'The Look'. "Why on Earth would I listen to you? You messed everything up in the first place!"

I looked around. Clary and Izzy were nowhere to be found. "Uh…'cause I'm the only one around you know." Magnus sighed and I went on. "I'll take that as a yes. What you do is you tell him he's the bane of you existence. See, it's funny 'cause your name's Bane and yeah…" I trailed off letting him think it over.

Magnus laid his head on the table. "Somehow I don't think that would help."

"Of course it would. Alec's a total softy!

Magnus looked at me like I had two heads. "Okay, do you even know what that means?"

I shook my head. "Technically? No, but Izzy calls me it all the time."

Magnus looked at his feet. "Gee, I wonder why."

Clary's POV

After explaining to Jace what the word Bane meant and sending Isabelle off to find her brother I called Luke. He answered on the first ring.

"What's up Clary?"

"Luke, we have a problem."

I heard Luke sigh from the other end. "What did Jace do now?"

"He told Alec that Magnus was cheating on him…" I said with exasperation.

"And was he?"

"No! Magnus and Alec love each other. Jace is just a moron." I said.

"But I'm your moron," Jace said from the other side of the table.

I flipped him off. "So, what do I do? Magnus hasn't moved for like half an hour and Izzy's still trying to find Alec."

I waited for Luke to think this over. "Clary? I'm going to give the phone to Maryse."

"Hello Clary." Maryse's voice came from the other side of the line after a bit of shuffling. "I understand Alec and Magnus are having a bit of a…disagreement?"

I looked at Magnus sitting at the table staring off into space, looking like a train hit him. "You could say that. So any advice? I can't even find him."

"Clary, can I talk to Magnus for a moment?"

I paused and held my hand over the mouthpiece. "Magnus. Someone wants to talk to you."

Magnus said nothing but held out his hand for the phone. As I gave it to him I couldn't help, but wonder what Izzy was doing.

Izzy's POV

"Alec!" I whined. "Please come out! It was only a joke. I mean, come on, it's Jace. When have you ever believed a word Jace said?" A low grunt came from the other side of the door. He'd locked himself in Simon's van, which I had borrowed for the day, thinking he'd be able to drive off. Too bad, I had the keys. "Please Alec?"

"Izzy. I don't want to talk right now." My brother's voice was muffled, but I could tell he was trying not to cry. "Please Izzy I just want to go home."

I took out my phone and sent Simon a text.

R they done? -Izzy

Within seconds my phone went off. _Yeah, were done. Luvs u. –Simon_

_ Luvs u 2. –Izzy_

I sent Clary a text. _They r done. Let's get the Angel out of here. Have Magnus zap u all back. –Izzy._

I pounded on the window of the car. "ALEC! Unlock the fucking door! We can go home. Magnus can zap everyone else home." Alec winced at the name. I took out my phone and made a To-do list.

**Get Alec & Magnus the fuck back 2gether**

**Beat the fucking shit out of Jace**

**Cut down on my God-damn swearing**

**Author's Note: Okay so this chapter got a little out of control. I don't know why I suddenly decided to make Alec and Magnus get in a fight, but I did. I quite like my 'Bane' pun though.**


	4. It's Back!

**I HAVE BIG NEWS! MORTAL MALLS IS BACK! **

**As some of you know, I had ended it for some time, but after a few complaints and someone offering to co-write it with me I reconsidered. I will now be co-writing it with Fly Away Dreams. I guess that's all I needed. I have no clue how frequent updates will come, but hopefully soon! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note from Paramore7: I'm baaack! Well, sort of. I wrote a grand total of 309 words out of 904. Yeah, you guys should really thank Fly Away Dreams. I was really going to give this up until she came along and kicked out of my writer's block (which is still here, obviously). Anyway, I hope to personally write more next chapter, but I just couldn't get this one out. Again, thanks to Fly Away Dreams, and you guys for reading and sticking around.**

**Disclaimer: Oh, I don't own, *(Looks at Fly Away Dreams)* You? Didn't think so…Dang.**

Alec's POV

We pulled into the Institute half an hour later. Looking around I saw a bunch of cars. Funny, Mom and Dad hadn't mentioned a meeting. Whatever. Slowly, I got out of the car.

The moment I stepped out, a familiar voice said, "Alec, dear?" I shivered inspite of myself. I whirled around to see Magnus looking at me, his eyes glistening. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get a word in I shot through the doors of the Institute and down the hall. When I reached the main room I stopped in my tracks, in shock of what I saw.

Balloons and confetti were strewn every where and a huge banner with the words 'Happy Birthday Alec!' was hanging from the ceiling. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Everyone shouted. I spun on my heel and ran to my room, unable to handle everything that was going on. I sat on my bed and thought about what had happened.

Magnus, the former love of my life, had cheated on me. Questions immediately jumped into my mind. With who? Why? Hadn't I done enough? Was I just a silly whim he'd had and now that he was through playing with me he was just going to rip my heart out and walk away? I choked back a sob. What about all the times he'd said 'I love you'? Was it just a silly joke? Something he'd never really meant, just words and not feelings?

There was a knock at my door. As the door opened I gasped involuntarily at the glittery warlock and realized I hadn't thought to lock the door. Magnus took a hesitant step forward. "Alec, we need to talk."

I sucked in a breath and nodded. "I know."

Silently, Magnus walked over and sat next to me. "You know how Jace is…always joking and going too far…" I nodded again and he continued. "Well, what he said, it.... wasn't true."

I just stared at him. "How can I know that you mean that, that you aren't just lying to me?"

Magnus looked at me, a pleading look in his eyes. "If I didn't love you, didn't care about you, with all my heart, do you think I would have risked my life for you so many times?"

"R-risked your life? What do you mean?" I stuttered out.

"That time after you were attacked by the Greater Demon? I pushed myself more than I had to, more than was expected of me. I pushed myself, and nearly died, all for you, because I didn't want to lose you then, even though I barely knew you. Then that time on the river with Valentine's ship, when I pulled you out? I could have left you, hoping your fellow Shadowhunters would save you. But I didn't, because I wanted to be sure that you were safe, I didn't want to lose you then. There are other times too, when I've healed you, things I've done for you, all because I didn't want to lose you. And I still don't want to lose you. I'll do whatever it takes Alec, whatever it takes, to get you back." Magnus said. grabbing my hand. "I need you to believe me Alec, I've never cheated on you, and I don't want to. Please, believe me. I love you." He said, closing his eyes and letting go of my hand.

I sat there in stunned silence a moment, before snatching his hand back. Magnus opened his eyes, shocked. "I'm sorry Magnus. Sorry that I jumped to conclusions, that I didn't give you a chance to explain. Sorry that I hurt you." I said.

"You're sorry? Don't be. You had every right to do what you did." Magnus said, pulling me into a hug, kissing my forehead.

"So.... We're good now?" I asked, wrapping my arms around him.

"Mhm." He muttered. I stood up, untangling myself from Magnus.

"Time to get back to the party." I said, stretching. Magnus nodded.

"Guess you're right. Can't hog you, it is your birthday." He said, smiling. I went to the door and opened it, walking out into the hall and back to the party, Magnus right behind me.

Isabelle spotted us and ran over. "So, you guys all better now?" She asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, we're good again."

"Good, I can go kill Jace now." Izzy said, stalking off, looking for Jace. I shuddered, thinking about what she had in mind for Jace. Magnus squeezed my hand gently.

"Don't worry, she's not really going to kill him. Besides, Clary can nurse him back to health." Magnus said.

"I know. I was just thinking about what she had in mind." I said, leaning into him. Together we walked down the hall although I could barely feel my feet touching the ground.

**Author's Note: Yaye. All done. Incase you don't know, I'm Fly Away Dreams. I co-write this now. You should thank me, I saved this story. But, you don't have to. Sorry this is so short. I wrote most of this chapter, but Parapmore7 wrote the start. I just picked it up where she left off. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a volume of Rurouni Kenshin and a few movies that are waiting for me. Let us know what you think, kay?**


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